April 2011
I hate every one and every thing.
Everything ends, and friends are only in it for the moment. Don’t count on anyone to have your back, because when the times comes, they would rather just stab it. Don’t give your heart to any one, because its too easy to break. Nothing is worth it, and every one is fair game.
Sometimes I feel like, out of all my friends, I'm...
3 sleeping pills instead of two tonight & a marley tea. Today was wonderful, which of course could only give way to one thing; An absolutely abysmal night alone, drenched in my own tears & wishing for a lost cause.
Guess what?
I miss you already. I cried the whole way home and now I have that sinking feeling in my stomach again. When I’m with you every thing is okay and then your gone and every thing falls apart again. Goodbye is never going to stop hurting, and I honestly don’t feel like this is ever going to get any easier. I still love you so much and this is still the hardest and most painful think I...
All I want to do anymore is sleep. I do nothing when I’m awake, and it’s so hard to kill day after day with no purpose. I wonder if I could convince doctors to let me go into a drug induced coma for a few years. It would be so much easier than this.
“I don’t want people to matter to me too much. Sometimes it hurts too much to...”
– Henry Rollins: Smile, you’re traveling (Black Coffee Blues Pt. 3)
Yesterday was so good.
Then why do I feel so miserable all over again? I don’t think this pain is ever going to stop. It’s so hard waking up with tears in your eyes. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.
Lost a heart, gained a friend. I will never give up, no matter how badly it hurts.
Sleeping pills, call good night & bed.
School tomorrow
I feel so sick. Please make it stop.
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Some one is shooting things in my back yard. I wish I owned a deer costume.
Im 100% alone for the first time in a week. The second my mother left a huge thunder clap rang out. I’m starting to actually get numb. My mom is starting to force feed me and wants me to see a doctor. She made me weigh myself and I lost 7 pounds since monday. Is it possible to actually fade away into sadness? I really, really hope so.
I would like very much to die now please,
and thank you.
I cant stop staring at the phone.
I keep waiting to see his face pop up on that little screen. To feel him reach out, and consul me. But to be honest, I know that’s a stupid wish that isn’t going to happen. And yet I can’t stop jumping every time I see it light up, and the get depressed again when I realize it isn’t his ringtone echoing in my ears. I just miss him so much.
I’ve officially been forgotten about, unintentionally or otherwise.
I never should have called.
One less bell to answer...
Since he went away all I do is cry.
I hate waking up. It’s like hitting the replay button to the worst song ever created.
I wish this sinking feeling in my stomach and chest would go away.
I don’t want to hurt any more. I just want to be numb.
Watching "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button" &...
Threw up several times, and I’m shaking and physically exhausted. My mind races on, but my body is shutting down. I think that I will sleep like death tonight.
(I am thankful for things & people that make me smile, even when my heart is breaking)
Fuck. It’s so hard not to call. :(
Oh, hey there crushing depression!
Welcome back.
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As human beings we attach ourselves so deeply to...
This hit way too closely to home.
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Shivering & Alone, But Not Hopeless.
This evening was okay. Better than the last few, thats for sure.
As much as it hurt, it felt good to be close again.
I’m crying, but I’m significantly less dismal feeling tonight.
Here’s hoping.
Let's Commence.
1. Shower. Clean the dried up tears off my body.
2. Hair & make up. Can’t look ugly today.
3. Friend and shopping. Help’s me to fake a smile in new clothes.
4. Check/fix makeup & change into new clothes. CAN’T LOOK UGLY TODAY.
5. Fruitlessly stare at my phone for approximately an hour.
6. Pick female friends up. Can’t be all alone.
7. Pick him up.
8. Shoot...
I tried to get some friends together for paintball…
I feel like no one else is coming. I hate my life right now.
I just stared at the wall for like 5 minutes trying to think of how to pour my feelings down into this keyboard. I can’t. There’s no way to describe the way my body feels this morning. Numb is the only thing that comes close.
I want to go back to bed, but I...
Fuck fuck fuck.
I feel dead. Ughjhgshafxvasuykfgx
All I want to do is sleep.
I’ve been awake since 9. But thats still only like 6 hours of being awake.
I left riding early. I told my instructor that I felt sick. In all honesty, I dismounted, ran to the bathroom, sat on the cold floor, and cried.
Shower and then, hopefully, sleep.
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Worst feelings in the world...
bi0logy:
candyislove:
oh-coolstorybro:
Having a good night, and having it ruined with tears:
The feeling like you’re all alone, like you’re lost :
Having to look at the face of the person you love, knowing they won’t love you:
When someone tells you they don’t feel the same:
Crying so much you cry yourself to sleep:
The feeling of anger towards yourself, and him:
The...
Laying in bed alone. It’s 3:37am. I can’t sleep and I feel nauseous. I feel useless. Put me down? I’m not worth it.
I want a body worth killing for.: I love you. →
tinyisbeautiful123:
Im so glad I have like no followers because that means that I can just vent.
My keyboard is wet from my tears. I honestly want to die. Nothing painful or gruesome, just clean, quiet and quick.
95% chance I will start cutting again tonight.
I feel dehydrated, and sick to my stomach. My face is…
